Afternoon folks,
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Apologies for the late musing but work has been hell these past couple days and between meetings and scripting, I haven't had much time to sit down and write. Figured since I had about 30 minutes, I would fire off something quick to you all.
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As I mentioned above, work has been hell. Not that I know what hell is like mind you but that was the closest thing I could compare it to.
Meh
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I am in a very strange mood today. I'm not happy, I'm not sad, I'm not depressed. In fact, I have no bloody idea what I am. I'm not content with things, I'm not annoyed, I'm not angry or frustrated. I guess the best word you could describe how I'm feeling is Neutral. On one hand I care, the other I don't give a shit. Not a good place to be as it causes issues when I try to write. The fact I'm writing about it should be indication I have no idea what to write. I'm fresh out of writing ideas.
Maybe I should go back and start at the beginning. Where ever the hell that is.
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Some of the things bothering me these days are:
Work
Work
Work
Home
WoW
Life
Money
Work
Work
Money
Life
Work
You get the picture.
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Work has been my bane these days. Yes, I'm happy to have a job and happy to be making money but I hate my job. I don't like what I'm doing and I hate the product(s) I'm working with. I hate the flexibility of the company I work for and the fact we're expected to support UNIX and Linux servers and clients from a 10 year old Windows machine. Yes they have a company Linux build, and no my system isn't supported for the company Linux build. I hate windows.. no no... I DESPISE windows! I hate having to emulate a NIX operating system just to do my job. I hate having to wait 20 minutes for my system to boot off a 5 1/4" floppy disk listening to that all too familiar click click of the drive head reading the sectors. I'm tired of doing the same mundane bull shit every single day of the week.
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My problem is simple. I HATE things that are half assed. If I am given something to do that could be done better, I'll make it better. I have taken countless tasks given to me and have found ways to script them and automate them. I've taken what normally should take 10 people 8 hours a day to complete and scripted/automated it into something 2 people working 5-6 hours a day could do. Of course the company doesn't give a shit I did this. It was "expected" when the task was given. They handed us a half ass process and we ironed out all the wrinkles to make it clear and easy to follow. Of course that was "expected" as well.
They load more work on us daily and the process changes just as freqently. You never know if that script you wrote yesterday will work the next day because things change so quickly here. You submit suggestions for improving process and performance making sure you CC every god damn manager/team-lead you know and then a few months later some guy comes up with this "brilliant idea" on fixing things and submitting your ideas as his own. Back stabbing fuck!
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I hate this job, I hate this company. Perhaps my mood is a reflection of the the bullshit I deal with on a daily basis. Perhaps I have become so desensitized by the mundane that I no longer show emotion or verbalize my feelings in fear of being told to "suck it up" by my manager. Nevermind you fuckers lied through your yellow teeth at me when you offered me this job and you pretty much breached every fucking line in my offer letter.
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I apologize for the colorful metaphores in today's musing, but I feel I need to let it.
meh
I have very few releases in my day. The first release I get is on my way to work. I like to drive, I like to get out and go places. Despite the fact I'm driving to hell, I enjoy the drive there. My second release in a day is the drive home. Coming home is like flipping a coin. Depending on how the day went for Katie, it could be a very hostile atmosphere or a very warm and welcome atmosphere. I won't say it is more one than the other, but I will say I very much hate coming home to the hostile atmosphere. All I look forward to is coming home and seeing my family, when the kids are bad (like only kids can be) and Katie is on her -10th nerve (yes it is possible to have negative nerves when you're a parent) the air in our apartment is almost crackling from the build up. Nevermind the fact our apartment is next to all the exhaust vents for all the landry rooms in the building sucking our moisture out and making everything you touch give you an electric shock to rival an electric chair.
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The place I live is the SUCK. Let me give you a few examples to back that up.
Example 1:
My Mother came to visit us a few weekends back (was great to see you btw Mom). She brought her little dog with her on the trip. She was outside letting the dog go do his business and then came inside. Within 30 minutes, the landlord calls and asks if we have a dog in the apartment (no pets allowed except by permission). Of course we answer truthfully and she informs us we are not allowed to have pets in the building and told us to make sure the dog didn't get out in the hallway. Well, our apartment is on the ground level with its own seperate entrance to the outside. Of course we won't let the dog out into the fucking hallway!
Example 2:
We recently threw away an old couch that was given to us. We felt we didn't need to have 3 couches in the apartment and placed the old one out on the patio outside. Within MINUTES (not an exageration there) we received a phone call from the landlord asking us to please move the couch over to the dumpster. Well, as luck would have it, we didn't get around to it that minute and the next day I went to work as always. The landlord called or dropped by every single day (sometimes twice in a day) to ask if we had gotten rid of that couch yet. Katie, of course, isn't strong enough to lift a couch (with pullout bed) by herself. Hell, I couldn't even lift the damn thing by myself. So there the couch sat for the entire week until I was able to actually load the thing in my van and drive it over to the dumpster and drop it off. We got a call within minutes after doing this asking us to please put the couch IN the dumpster. Imagine our disbelief at the request. You want us to lift this 200lbs monster of a couch over our heads and drop it into a dumpster?? FUCK YOU!
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Example 3:
It was the first week we moved in. Apparently a lot of the apartments in Halifax don't come furnished with window coverings. Imagine our surprise when we moved in and there were NO blinds or curtains what so ever. We are on the ground floor, so anyone walking buy would have full view of the inside of our place anytime. We have a lot of windows in our apartment. In fact, the entire outside wall is pretty much windows. Well, we grabbed a bunch of blankets and sheets from some of our moving boxes and began covering the windows to give ourselves a little bit of privacy. The very next day the landlord dropped by and informed us that we couldn't hang blankets up in the windows because it made the building look "slummy". We went out to WalMart (I hate you WalMart) and bought some blinds for the windows. I wasn't able to expense the blinds as a moving expense despite the fact I needed them when I moved and I wouldn't have needed them if I had stayed where I was. How was I supposed to know I was about to enter the Nexus of the universe where you rent a place with no window coverings included?? Anyway, we ended up spending something like $80 to cover our windows just to please the damn landlord. However, if you are ever near my building, look up.. way up, and you'll see the apartments above us all with blankets hanging in their windows. Yup, blankets hanging in the windows that have been there since we moved in. Did they go out and buy blinds? Hell no, they took an old blanket and hung it on a few nails to cover their windows. I guess we better watch out, the slum lords will be moving in soon.
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Example 4:
We had a bag of garbage on our patio. Typically when we fill a bag we set it out on the patio to take to the dumpster later. Well, this particular night we were hit with a fairly heavy wind storm. The bag of garbage made its way to the patio of the apartment next to us. Our loving neighbour decided to go through our trash to find out who it belonged to. There she found something that had my name on it and immediatly called the landlord asking who I was. The landlord then called us and informed us we had some garbage at our neighbour's apartment and asked if we could go by and pick it up. I believe Katie went over and picked it up and then took it to the dumpster. First off, what kind of person goes through someone else's garbage?? What if I had shit in my underwear and put that in the garbage? Sick bastards! Secondly, since that unfortunate event took place, everytime we have garbage out on the patio we get a call from the landlord asking us not to do that. Nevermind the fact our neighbour (the same neighbour who likes to go through my garbage) has 2-3 huge black garbage bags out on their patio. Nevermind the fact the people 2 floors above us decided to throw their garbage from their balcony one night because they were too fucking lazy to use the stairs. We reported them and all the landlord said to them was "You shouldn't do that".
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Well, I won't go into all the other "little" things like the mildew in one of our bathrooms with the leaky pipe behind the wall that still hasn't been fixed. Or the infestation of silverfish that still hasn't been sprayed for or the fact there are minor little inperfections all over the place that we were told would be fixed. Oh, did I forget to mention that the tenant who lived in our place prior to us is living across the street and has asked our landlord to inform him the moment we give notice to move out because he REALLY REALLY wants his old apartment back? I'm going to have a big shit under the carpet the day we move out and leave it there. Well, maybe not, but I feel like doing it :)
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Ahhh folks, this has been a musing of witty comments and flames. I would love to just find a nice house, get the money for a down payement and move in. I would do almost anything to make that possible right now just to free us from the bonds of rent and the evil rule of our landlord. I swear, it is almost like she is trying to "force" us out just so her "friend" can move back into his old place. Almost.
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Well, I've ranted enough. I should almost rename this to Ranting over Coffee.. infact, I think I will....
There, done.
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Alright, I have some work to do and I've been typing for just over 30 minutes now. Hope you all have a great day. I know I feel a LOT better after typing this. In fact, I would have to say I feel a great weight off my chest and a little bit happy as I'll probably laugh my ass off in a few months when I come back and read this.
Such is life.
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Cheers,
Al
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