v21.8 - I need a vacation

Howdy folks,

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It's after 8pm and I'm just sitting down now to write.  I need a vacation before I snap.

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I have next week (March Break here) booked off and boy am I ever glad; or at least I was.  Today I was told that I wasn't going to be able to take my vacation next week due to this whole transition and training going on at work.  Let me tell you all that when I booked this time off back in January I never thought March would ever get here.  I don't need to tell those of you who know me personally how much stain and stress this job has put on me the past couple months.  I've been on the edge of a break-down for awhile now and today when I was told I wasn't going to be able to take my vacation I almost lost it for good.

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It was about this time last year that one of my co-worker had a similar break-down and ended up taking a last minute vacation and leaving the whole team to deal with a huge mess that he was put in charge of.  He came back, there were some hard feelings but we all moved on and he has progressed in his career.  So why do I feel bad for getting angry at my boss today?  Why do I feel bad for wanting to take some time off before I snap and just walk out?  This guy decides to screw the whole team and gets promoted and a raise, I just want to take a vacation I booked 2 months ago and I feel bad.

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Fortunately for me my boss is a caring person and is letting me take the time off regardless of how much they "say" they need me.  I thought of everything, I handed off responsibilities, I assigned escalations and planned for 4 guys to take training by shuffling tasks.  Of course that was maybe my saving grace because I really did think of everything which is maybe the only reason I'm being "allowed" to take this vacation next week.  I need it.

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This event has really gotten me thinking today  I am thinking about how things could have gone today and how much restraint I used.  There have only been two times where I've been visibly angry at work; today was the 2nd.  I was also thinking about how things got this far without my noticing it.  Normally I can tell when I'm reaching my limits but I didn't see this coming and that scares me a little bit.

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So what are the common symptoms of stress?  I did some research this evening and here is a nice table of the different kinds of symptoms:

Stress Warning Signs and Symptoms
Cognitive Symptoms	Emotional Symptoms
Memory problems Inability to concentrate Poor judgment Seeing only the negative Anxious or racing thoughts Constant worrying	Moodiness Irritability or short temper Agitation, inability to relax Feeling overwhelmed Sense of loneliness and isolation Depression or general unhappiness
Physical Symptoms	Behavioral Symptoms
Aches and pains Diarrhea or constipation Nausea, dizziness Chest pain, rapid heartbeat Loss of sex drive Frequent colds	Eating more or less Sleeping too much or too little Isolating yourself from others Procrastinating or neglecting responsibilities Using alcohol, cigarettes, or drugs to relax Nervous habits (e.g. nail biting, pacing)

Yeah, I'm stressed.

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Anyway folks, time to chill for the evening and take it easy.  I'm two days away from vacation time and I'm REALLY looking forward to it.  Until next time.

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Cheers,
Al