"Our happiness depends on the habit of mind we cultivate. So practice happy thinking every day. Cultivate the merry heart, develop the happiness habit, and life will become a continual feast."
- Norman Vincent Peale
Good morning folks,
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Welcome to part 2 in my "Secret to Happiness" series of musings. I don't plan on making too many parts (I hate that sort of thing) so go grab a coffee, grab your list (what? you forgot to write out your list?) and sit back and relax. Today I'm going to go over the things in your list and see where we stand. If you're just jumping in and are not sure what I'm talking about, feel free to go back and read Part 1 so you are a bit more prepared.
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Well, if you're anything like most people, your list is most likely small with maybe 5 points on it. It will also contain things like work and home life maybe the odd friendships (or lack thereof). I obviously am unable to read your list, but I have a pretty good idea what you put down. In fact, the whole exercise of writing down what makes you unhappy is moot since we won't be using it. The only reason I had you do that was to prove two things:
1) I'm serious about wanting to bring true happiness into my life
and
2) I've identified to myself I am not happy and here is why
Just those two simple things alone are HUGE and you've already come half way to happiness by identifying you're not happy.
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So what's next? Well, you've already identified the things that make you unhappy, now you need to prioritize them into what makes you the most unhappy to the least unhappy. Unlike the debt reduction technique where you pay your smallest debts off first and then work on the bigger ones, you will want to work on the things that make you the least happy first and then work your way to the smaller ones.
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Obviously the biggest cause for unhappiness in people is their home life. Sometimes people feel very lonely at home even though they are surrounded by friends and family. Some have neither and are feeling genuine loneliness. You need to identify which one you fall into and address it. If your family life is ok, make it better by spending more time with family. If your family lives far away, find ways to bridge the gap by taking advantage of web conferencing or regular phone calls. Either way, you will want to make every attempt you can to get closer to your family.
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Work is another big downer in individuals. Let's face it, most people don't enjoy their jobs and only work to pay the bills. Some people really love their jobs and that's great! So if you fall under the former of the two, identify the things about your job you hate. Perhaps you're stuck in a dead-end career with no chance for promotion or advancement? Perhaps you're in a completely different career than you had hoped for. Let me tell you now that it is NEVER too late to switch your career. I read an article the other day about and older woman (in her 80s) who had always wanted to be a writer growing up. She spent her entire life wishing she was a writer and would dabble and scratch down notes and bits and pieces of stories. She kept these pieces and one day her daughter-in-law was rummaging around in the attic and stumbled upon these scraps of paper. After some coaxing and convincing, the older lady decided to try and get the works published and did.
Writing is easy though right? Anyone with a grade 2 education can be a writer can't they? I suppose they can, but what if I told you that not only did this lady have her works published, but her book also climbed to the top 10 best sellers list? Not only did this lady write something, she wrote something great!
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Let's face it, we as consumers need to work. We need to have income into our homes so we can pay the rent/mortgage and bills. I don't know, maybe you're homeless right now and reading this from a web cafe somewhere in the world. Whatever your situation is, you need to have income of some kind. Sadly the days of not needing money have not arrived yet and I doubt we will see it within our life times. Money is necessary and right now in the world economy, money is hard to come by. When you look at things that way and combine it with a job you hate, you end up hating work and hating money and wondering why the hell you've wasted the last decade of your life doing something you absolutely hate. BAH, you're unhappy and you need to fix that.
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People have told me countless times how they can't do anything about it. "I can't quit my job, I need the money" or "I'm not qualified to do anything else". The bottom line in 90% of these "excuses" is people are scared. Most people need to feel comfortable and stable in their jobs. It seems the older we get the harder it is to change gears and focus. I know for me, I work in the IT industry and am really disliking it. My goal isn't to work with computers the rest of my life so I've decided to do something about it. The first step for me is this blog, getting back into writing by practicing every day and coming up with stories and other things I can publish. Again, writing is the easy way out isn't it? For me, writing comes fairly naturally. I'm not going to say I'm the best writer out there and my grammar and English are definitely lacking right now (what I'd give to go back to my High School days and pay more attention in English class) but I'm working on it and a blog is a GREAT medium to use when trying to break into the writing world.
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So what is the next step for you? Well you've already defined what is making you unhappy. If you believe in things like the "Law of Attraction" (The Secret) or Positive Thinking, then you could use that to shift your mind focus to dwell on the happy thoughts (Happy Gilmore anyone?) and ignore the bad. If you're not the kind of person who believes in all that "New Age Crap" then you have to put some serious thought into it. What did I do? I went back in time (Thanks Doc) to my childhood and thought about the things that made me happy. I thought about all the "cool" things I wanted to do when I grew up. I remember the Fireman, Policeman, Astronaut and of course, an Army Man!! Today I am none of those things but that doesn't mean I can't apply to become a Volunteer Fire Fighter or to the Police Academy. My chances of becoming an Astronaut are slim but that doesn't mean I won't go to space some day with the way travel is progressing. Being in the Army is also still a viable path I could take. With the way the world seems to be heading, I may end up in the military by the end of it all :)
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Somewhere along the line things changed, people changed and I lost focus on the things I wanted to do. I ended up pumping gas and cutting trees until I moved out West where I starting working with computers. The closest I came to actually becoming a writer was a couple articles I wrote for the local newspaper in my home town. I did a great job (I felt) and even had a By line in the paper. I thought I had landed my dream job! Unfortunately it didn't turn out as I planned and I had to leave that job. So here I am over a decade later trying to get back some of that lost childhood and making a break for the writing circle. I'll
let you all know how it works out :)
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Folks, I'm a firm believer in being happy. There are things in my life and in my past that I'm not happy with, but my overall state is happiness. I have a beautiful family and we are about to move into a beautiful new home. We all have our health and sometimes that counts for a LOT. I have family that loves me and friendships to last a life time. Right now, I could be shoveling crap (not far from what I'm doing now) and I'd be just as happy. Find your happy place within and allow it to fill you. Become happy on the inside and your life around you will shift and change to make you truly happy on the outside.
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I'm going to leave you with that for now. If I come up with any other thoughts I'll be sure to share them but until then, take care and have a great day.
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Cheers,
Al
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